Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Orchestral Music: How well synchronised in time do musicians have to be to sound as if they are playing together?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Why are people so rude to debt collector’s? I am one and I am so tired of being mistreated. We are under paid and then have to deal with the most ungrateful, and disrespectful people. We aren’t customer service. Don’t get mad at us because YOU owe.

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t buy bullshit

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Why cant school buses ditch kids who are late to the bus at the school? Like on the way home, if a kid is late when all the others arrived to the bus on time, why cant they leave the late kid behind since its not fair to the on time kids to wait?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Is it possible to achieve spiritual enlightenment while being in a romantic relationship?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Why do some men want to remain single despite the fact that many women want to have a romantic relationship with them?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I can read

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Toyota Ends Up Fastest in Night Practice - Sportscar365

I see through liars

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

U.C. Berkeley's Tiny Pogo Robot has a Unique Locomotion Style - Core77

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Which scene is considered the most difficult to watch in each of Quentin Tarantino's movies?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Does eating bread before bed make you fat? If so, why?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

What is the Abu Shusha massacre in Palestine?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for fakery

I can count

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I actually pay taxes

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says: